ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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