Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
