She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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