Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
