Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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