You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
