Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
