He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize