Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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