Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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