You're earring is so big in my mouth
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
