I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
