maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
