Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
