Porn is love you can see.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
