She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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