We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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