There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
