dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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