You're earring is so big in my mouth
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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