Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Randomize
