May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
