What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
