Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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