sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Acid is not a monday night drug
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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