you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Randomize
