Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
