In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
