yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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