So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
