OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
