that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
we're making bets on your personal life
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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