remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
