She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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