..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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