yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
