We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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