Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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