Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
