Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
