Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I currently don't understand fingers.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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