I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize