It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
