Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
