It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
