question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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