The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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