We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
