If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
