Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
