you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
