how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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