they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
