It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize