problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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