apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
