when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
