I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
