she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
