You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
